I initially crossed the Rio Grande as part of Mexico’s Illegal Eagle program, after having easily satisfied the murder/rape qualification requirement. I had volunteered for the Taco Truck Street Corner Takeover Campaign, which the Mexican government patterned after the successful Italian operation (which is the real pizzagate that the Alex Jones story was concocted to cover up) wherein the southern European WOPs (short for With-Out Papers) achieved complete dominance of the North American restaurant business, so that in a few short decades, the greaseballs succeeded in making pizza and spaghetti into American household words.
Then one night in August of 2016, after spending 14 hours picking apples for $20, and then attending an enticing spices meeting with fellow TTSCTC agents, I spotted a poster that offered me an automatic green card — all I’d have to do to get it would be to vote for Hillary Clinton. Within minutes, I dialed 1-800-SOROSME to sign up.
At the organizational meeting with my 1,000 fellow illegal voters, we all watched an instructional video by Mr. George, who described the process, explaining that we need not worry about possible fines or imprisonment because he had paid off anyone and everyone who could impose such penalties, and he also mentioned that our gathering was one of more than 3,000. Following the video, each of us met briefly with the precinct poll watchers from each party who were being paid quite well by Mr. Soros to ignore our illegal status and allow us to cast votes. For those who wonder why Republican and Conservative Party poll watchers would allow someone to vote illegally for a Democratic Party candidate, remember that most Republicans and Conservatives will do almost anything for money, and each one got many thousands of dollars from Mr. George for basically doing nothing.
Mr. Soros assured us that once we received our automatic citizenship, we would be completely free to steal American jobs from white workers, just as long as those jobs paid less than half of the minimum wage, and many of us couldn’t wait to do so! On the morning of November 9, 2016, we all woke up disappointed by the results, but with an ally like Mr. George who has a hatred of America that matches ours, we all feel it was worth the effort, especially since Mr. Soros also paid each of us $1,000. While Hillary Clinton did not get the chance to totally destroy the U.S., which we Illegal Eagles would gladly have assisted in doing, Mr. Trump actually seems to be succeeding at this task much better than any of us could have hoped.
Note- I would guess that most DK readers will detect the Onion flavor of this serving, and if that taste appeals to you, you can get morsels like this delivered to your email inbox on a monthly basis, since they appear at the end of my monthly newsletter, which you can sign up for on my website at daveelder.com.